His New Toy

D. has a new toy. It didn't cost a thing (other than a mortgage), it is not colorful or moves from one room to the other, and it doesn't talk and say phrases like "Buzz to the rescue" or "Cachau". This toy is something we all use, whether from want or necessity. It is usually dirty, even though it is cleaned often. And I would stay away from touching the inside as much as possible if I had any say in the matter. But, recently I have been forced to touch the thing, and things inside, that I would rather not, more often than I would like to remember.

D. went to the bathroom today, and afterwards, just turned around looking at the thing. He then said, "Wow, that is a lot of toilet paper." Those words brought a sudden dread to my heart and made my head spin so fast in the direction of the voice that I almost got a neck cramp. I stood up reluctantly from my lunch to view the carnage, thinking, well, more hoping, that it wasn't that bad. What I saw made my heart drop even more. About half the new roll (yeah, the one I had just put on for him) was now in the toilet, stuffed so full the top stuff was dry because there wasn't enough water for it to absorb. For a second I thought of just flushing the thing and hoping beyond hope that it wouldn't clog and send nasty brown water and toilet paper squares drooling down the toilet and all over the rug and floor. But that thought was only fleeting, I new that hope was useless. There was just too much in there. So, I got my trusty meat tongs (yeah, the same ones I used last week to remove the toilet paper cardboard and that will no longer be used for meat) and started the grueling process of removing what I could and flushing it in turns. Maybe I should invent a toilet paper machine that only dispenses 3 squares every minute. Now that sounds appetizing!

Why do toys have to be the cheapest thing you can find, cardboard boxes where the real toy came from, or something that should not even be a toy at all? Has anyone else had this problem, and what did you do about it? It seems that twice in one week is going to make it a habit I don't want to start.